4 Field Regiment (SVN) 'Old Boys' Newsletter - February 2015 Edition

6 They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned. There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk. As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud. Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz" or "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country"). TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA:  Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason WHATSOEVER.  The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.  Always carry a stick.  Air-conditioning is imperative.  Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.  Wear thick socks.  Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.  If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.  And don't forget a stick.  Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore. HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS:  They waddle when they walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in their wallet or purse.  They pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".  They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.  They think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place, that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga", but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".  Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it's a must-have.  They don't think it's summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.  They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction.  And they all carry a stick! It is always interesting to hear news from anyone who would like to share with our members. Since my last request for email addresses, we have increased our electronic mailing list considerably which of course saves us money on stamps etc. If you have an email address and are still receiving this by snail mail, please let me know and perhaps slip in a small donation for postage etc. As you can see we aren’t broke but every little bit helps in the long run. While on the subject, a special thanks to our Patron, Don Donkin who made a generous donation to our funds recently. Don has had a few stints in hospital of late but in his inevitable style, battles on. Finally, I am sure you would all join me in passing on sincere congratulations to Denise Durnford on the award of the Medal of the Order of Australia. Denise was awarded the OAM for service to veterans and their families. Husband Paddy Durnford, is the curator of the 4 th Regiment Museum in Townsville and plays a very active role in unit events. Best wishes Peter Bruce